It's Never Enough Read online

  Lord Dunstable came to his feet and raised his glass. “Happy Christmas to us all!”

  A chorus of jubilant assents answered his toast and then all was suddenly quiet except for the occasional clink of a spoon nudging the side of a bowl as everyone enjoyed their soup.

  Selina closed her eyes and savored the flavors. The creamy, buttery broth with a hint of lemon paired with chunks of tender potatoes and bits of celery was excellent.

  Lord Rockton lowered his spoon and sat back in his chair. “You were right. I’ve never tasted anything so delightful.”

  Huntley entered the room with great formality carrying a large, gaily decorated bowl with a lid on top. Two footmen followed behind him—one carried a tray of cups and the other had a large ladle in his hand.

  “My lords and ladies, the Wassail Bowl.”

  “Capital!” Lord Bartley sat up straighter in his chair next to her. “It’s been a long time since I had that punch.”

  Selina wasn’t familiar with the drink. “Do you know what it’s made of?”

  “To my understanding it usually contains rum, brandy and port—the juice of oranges and lemons with their rinds and sugar.”

  Lord Rockton leaned closer to her. “It’s served warm as well. Sip it slowly, my dear. It’s quite a potent beverage.”

  “With so much liquor in it, I’m not surprised to hear that, my lord.”

  “Many an unsuspecting gentleman has woken up Christmas morning with a dry mouth and a sore head after too many glasses of Wassail, I can tell you.” Lord Bartley appeared well-acquainted with the drink.

  Huntley ladled out small portions of the beverage into the cups and passed them around while the soup bowls were taken away.

  Lord Rockton picked up his cup and turned to Selina. “Try a bit, my dear.”

  She took a taste and savored the warm, fruity Wassail. Then a sensation of dizziness suddenly hit her as the strong liquor entered her stomach. She hastily placed the cup back on the table. “The flavor is very good, but I can feel the effects of the rum, brandy and port almost immediately.”

  “I warned you it was strong.”

  The door opened again and Huntley entered bearing a large tray. He placed the platter in front of Lord Dunstable. “My lord, I give you the Christmas goose.”

  Lord Dunstable took the knife Huntley handed him and began to carve slices of meat off the large, roasted bird. While he was occupied in this task, Huntley directed the footmen as to the placement of assorted dishes and trays. Selina had a bowl of boiled potatoes put in front of her. Sliced roast beef was placed in front of Lady Dunstable. A dish of squash, a bowl of stuffing, a tray of oysters and an assortment of turnips, beets and lettuces completed the special meal.

  Huntley stood at Lord Dunstable’s side holding up empty plates. The earl dropped slices of the goose onto them. The footmen distributed the dishes around the table. The other items were passed between themselves.

  Selina spooned a bit of squash before giving Lord Rockton the bowl. She took a deep breath and picked up her fork, telling herself to remain relaxed so she could enjoy the food that covered her plate.

  “I say, Huntley, another cup of punch for me.”

  “Yes, my lord.”

  With a sensation of alarm, Selina looked over and noticed that Lord Bartley had gulped down his first serving of the Wassail in record time. She had a sudden, distressing image of him abruptly slipping from his seat at the table to land in an intoxicated pile at her feet. Just as quickly, she told herself not to be concerned. He was a peer of the realm, no longer a lad who was wet behind the ears. He should know how to handle his liquor.

  For several minutes, no one spoke. It seemed everyone was enjoying their meal. Selina ate slowly and carefully, managing to swallow a tiny amount of her food.

  “More of that Wassail, my good man!”

  Selina became very anxious as she heard Lord Bartley’s second request for punch. She dropped her fork onto her plate and gripped the serviette that covered her lap with stiff, shaking fingers.

  “Are you certain?” Sir William spoke up from his chair.

  “Go easy, Bartley.” It seemed Lord Rockton was concerned as well.

  Lord Bartley ignored both comments. He drank deeply from his newly replenished cup. “Lord Crestor, now that your days on the battlefield are over, I imagine you’ll see to your own estate, probably settle down and get married, huh?”

  Selina looked at Robert for the second time since they had sat down. He looked up from his plate when he heard the question with an expression of surprise on his face. Then he glanced at her and cleared his throat. “You’re correct. I have much to keep me busy after several months away from home.”

  “Avoiding the question? You’re a downy one.” Lord Bartley paused to take another drink. “I’m acquainted with several lovely, eligible ladies who would jump at the chance to entertain your suit—wealthy lord and war hero that you are. We can discuss their names later if you wish.”

  “Please, Brother! Remember where you are.” Miss Bartley whispered from across the table.

  Selina knew she couldn’t sit in this room any longer. Her head was beginning to throb and her stomach felt as if it was tied in knots. She came to feet, tossing the serviette onto her chair. “I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well. I must go to my room.”

  Lord Rockton came to his feet beside her. “I will help you to your bedchamber, my dear.”

  “No, thank you, my lord. I will see to my daughter. Come along, dear.”

  Selina grasped her mother’s arm will a grateful sigh. She couldn’t help glancing over at Robert and noting his distressed expression as she turned toward the door.

  Chapter Five

  Robert balanced his candle in one hand and pushed open the door to the library without knocking. He quickly spotted Justin reclining on a chair near the fire with a glass of brandy beside him. He was idly turning the pages of a large book.

  “You’ve heard that Selina is doing much better?” He put the candle on the mantle.

  “Yes, her mother informed me that she was resting quietly in her room.”

  “Am I to wish you happy?”

  Justin didn’t speak. He closed the book with one swift movement, causing the pages to snap together. He reached for his brandy and took a drink before slowly lowering it to the table once more.

  “Well?” What little patience Robert had at that moment was wearing thin.

  “Excellent dinner we had this evening. Don’t you agree?”

  “I asked you a question.”

  “I thought I responded in a roundabout fashion. I’m happily satisfied and full after such a delicious feast.”

  “Quit evading the issue, Justin. Are you and Selina getting married?”

  He draped one arm over the chair and reached for his glass once again.

  “Dammit! Answer me!”

  Infuriatingly, Justin sipped some brandy before turning to him. “Robert, you and I have been friends for a long time. Don’t you think you would be one of the first to know if I had plans to take a wife?”

  “Yes, of course I believe that. But in this instance I suppose I thought you were saving the news until after the holidays or waiting a few weeks to tell me after I became acclimated to life without the cavalry or some such nonsense.”

  “The idea never crossed that thick skull of yours that Selina is and always has been in love with you?”

  “In love with me?” His heart began to race and he suddenly felt lightheaded. He forced himself to remain calm and to focus on the quandary at hand. “That isn’t possible. I saw you both at Lord and Lady Toller’s ball, the night before I left. You were gazing into each other’s eyes.”

  Justin glared at him. “Please don’t tell me you released her based solely on that instance.”

  “The thought of her alone if I should die played a part. But yes, I believed you two cared deeply for each other.”

  “Of course there is affection between us. I’ve known Sel
ina almost as long as I’ve known you. That is exactly why I assured her the night of the Toller’s ball that she could call on me while you were away for anything she might need. She was very grateful for my offer and thanked me profusely. Now you know what was going on when you saw us.”

  He didn’t speak for a moment. The thought of his foolish assumptions that had bedeviled and tormented him for so many months made him want to kick himself. His father had warned him he could have misread the situation. He paced back and forth in frustration staring down at the floor.

  “Wait!” He came to a sudden stop. “You two have smelled of April and May all night. You can’t deny you were playing the part of her swain this evening.”

  Justin grinned at him. “I had a chance to question Selina earlier about your strange behavior. She hesitated to say anything to me at first but eventually she admitted that some of the comments you had made to her caused her to believe you assumed we were in love. I decided to play up to your silly conjectures hoping that I could make you angry or jealous enough to finally recognize your love for Selina. It seems to have worked.”

  “You appear to know all about my true feelings. Did you say anything about my love for her when you were planning this escapade?”

  “I would never mention such a thing to her. That is a private matter to be resolved between you and Selina. But I must warn you, she believes you don’t love her.”

  “What? How can she believe such a thing? I have done nothing but attempt to conceal my affection for her since the moment I thought I realized she was in love with you. I did it all for her happiness.”

  “You assumed that we were in love, and you set free the woman who cared deeply for you without questioning what you saw. I believe you have broken her heart, Robert.”

  “No! I can’t bear it. I couldn’t have done such a thing!” He pounded his clenched fist into the palm of his hand in an attempt to relieve the anguish he was experiencing at the thought of the pain he had unknowingly caused her. “I must speak to her immediately.”

  “It’s close to midnight. She’s in her bed. You can’t see her now.”

  “There must be some way.” He was silent as he tried to think of a way to explain himself to her. There had been no chance for any discussion when she had suddenly left the table at dinner. “Wait… I think I have thought of an answer to my dilemma.”

  “Don’t do anything rash.”

  He strode across the floor, grabbed his candle and yanked open the door. “I assure you, it’s one of the most rational ideas I’ve had in a long time.”

  He raced down the hallway to the kitchen, hoping he hadn’t missed his chance. He pushed open the door and found the room dark and empty. Pots and pans were stacked neatly on the shelves. Damp dish cloths hung out to dry on hooks near the stove. He glanced over at the table where he and Selina had shared their impromptu meal the night before. The surface was clean, the chairs pushed in underneath it.

  “Lord Crestor, um…I’m sorry. Excuse me for disturbing you, my lord.”

  He turned and discovered Selina’s maid standing in the doorway wearing her nightclothes. She reached up in a nervous manner to adjust the frilly, lace cap she wore on top of her head.

  “Miss Worth. I can guess your errand. Your mistress doesn’t join you?”

  “No, not tonight, my lord. She is somewhat disturbed by the goings-on this evening at dinner. She asked that I bring the food straight to her bedchamber.”

  “I must ask a great favor of you, Miss Worth.”

  “What is it, my lord?”

  “I wish to accompany you back to Lady Selina’s room.”

  The maid raised her eyebrows when she heard his request. “That wouldn’t be proper, my lord.”

  “Come now, Miss Worth, your presence will deem the situation more or less respectable.”

  “I…I don’t know, my lord. Lady Selina is wearing her nightgown.”

  “That is nothing that I haven’t already seen before. Please understand me, Miss Worth. Your mistress became upset earlier this evening partly because of a misunderstanding caused by my foolish assumptions. I need a chance to explain myself to her.”

  “I would be very grateful if you could make Lady Selina truly happy again, my lord. She has suffered mightily these past months.”

  “I intend to relieve her distress as quickly as possible. I’ll help you fetch the food.”

  Miss Worth got a plate and some cutlery while he went to the larder. She held out the dish to him and he filled it with two slices of beef, a bit of goose, stuffing, potatoes, a roll and a piece of gingerbread for dessert.

  “If you can carry that, I’ll bring a glass and some ale. Lead the way.”

  Holding his candle high to guide them through the entryway and up the stairs, the maid came to a stop at a door a short way down the hall.

  “What now, my lord?” she whispered.

  He thought for a moment. He was extremely anxious to speak to Selina but it wouldn’t do to startle her, cause her to scream in surprise or to make a loud noise, which would certainly bring others to her room that were most unwelcome at this time.

  “Go inside with the food. Tell her that I’m waiting outside her door. All I’m asking for is a few minutes to explain myself to her with you in attendance.”

  “As you wish, my lord.” She opened the door and quickly stepped inside, shutting it with a snap.

  Robert balanced the glass and the jug of ale in one hand and gripped his candle in the other as he paced back and forth on the carpet in front of Selina’s room. He could discern the sound of voices through the door. His heart began to race as he thought of the possibility that she would refuse to see him. She must give him a chance to speak to her.

  The door suddenly clicked open. “Come in, my lord.”

  He stepped inside and immediately searched the interior for Selina. He quickly spotted her sitting at a small table that was placed near the fireplace. The plate of food was in front of her. She was wearing the same wrapper from the night before. Her hair had been gathered up to the crown of her head in haste. Several strands were even now coming loose and falling about her shoulders. He stared at the vision of loveliness before him.

  “You wished to speak to me?”

  Her soft voice recalled him to his purpose.

  “Ah, yes, I do. Here…here is a glass and some ale.” He put his candle on the table as well. “I wished to say that I discovered only minutes ago that I had done you a great disservice when I set you free before I left to join the cavalry.”

  “What did you discover, my lord?”

  “Let me explain. I saw you and Justin speaking alone together at Lord and Lady Toller’s ball. It appeared to me that you were gazing into each other’s eyes with great affection. At that moment, I told myself that you were in love with him. I resolved to set you free that very evening so you could be with him.”

  She was quiet for a moment. When she spoke again, she sounded winded and breathless. “And you found that your assumption was incorrect this evening?”

  “Yes.” He held his arms still at his sides and squeezed his hands together in a supreme effort not to reach out and gather her close onto his chest. He wanted so badly to comfort her and at the same time ask her forgiveness for his foolish behavior. “When I saw you two together tonight, I believed you had decided to marry him. I confronted Justin in the library. I wanted to know if I was to wish him happy.”

  “He asked me to play along with him to provoke you. I believe he was hoping to make you jealous.” She blushed rosily when she looked at him.

  “I’ve been sorry I set you free since the night of the ball but I was also thankful of the happiness I thought I had given to you. Justin explained that he had been offering to assist you while I was gone and anything that I saw that evening was simply affection between old friends.”

  “I’ll only be truly happy if I’m with you, Robert.”

  “Come here. Let me hug you.” He opened his arms wide and
she ran into them. He wrapped his arms around her and he spoke into the silken strands of her hair. “I’m so sorry for all the pain and heartache I have caused you. I love you so much.”

  “I love you too.”

  He reluctantly stepped away from her and got down on one knee still clasping one of her hands in his own. “You give me hope when I hear you say those words, Selina. Will you marry me and allow me to spend the rest of my life showing you how precious and dear you are to me?”

  Selina smiled down at him through tears. “I would gladly, joyously consent to be your wife, Robert.”

  “I wish you both very happy.” Miss Worth sniffled and wiped her nose with a handkerchief. “But, my lady, you should finish your meal. Lord Crestor needs to leave now.”

  Robert hastily stood up. “Did I bring you enough to eat, my love?”

  Selina moved closer to his side until her lips were tantalizingly close to his own. “It’s never enough, Robert. And I’m not speaking of food.”

  Ignoring the jarring sound of Miss Worth clearing her throat behind them, Robert and Selina treated themselves to a thrilling, passionate kiss. Only a taste of the romance and love to come when they lived their lives together as man and wife.

  The End

  About Cynthia Moore

  Reading played an important role in my life from an early age. Much of my childhood was spent at the local library scouring the shelves for the next batch of twenty books to read and return in two weeks. Even today, I am rarely without a book. Many of my friends know me as the “book a day lady”.

  My love of reading naturally led to a need to tell my own stories. I began with poetry and short stories. After my daughter was born, I continued with bedtime stories, which I made up as I went along. With my discovery of Regency romance novels in 1987, I found a genre which provided me with ideas for many possible stories and the tools to complete my first full-length novel.