I Wish for Your Kiss Read online

  “We have been invited to spend the holidays at his cousin’s home in Newbury. I have heard it is a very large estate and the house is beautiful. One day, John will inherit the title and the property. I’m very excited to see it.” The pretty, young girl standing in the corner of the room smiled broadly.

  “Who is this cousin?” Catherine, now the Dowager Viscountess Greer, felt a great sense of foreboding as she asked the question.

  “Why, I thought you knew! John’s cousin is Justin Wexley, Marquess of Rockton,” answered her charge, Miss Elizabeth Croft.

  “Lord Rockton?” She spoke his name aloud for the first time since she had said good-bye. The sudden pain in her chest was sharp and piercing.

  “Are you acquainted with him?”

  Catherine took a deep breath before speaking. “We have met, yes.”

  “I’m not surprised. Papa said you were bound to be quite familiar with most of the members of the ton. I’m so glad he hired you as my companion.” Elizabeth came to a sudden stop with a look of wonder on her face. “I would never have met John if not for you, Lady Greer. You told me it was most proper to stroll in Hyde Park before midday, and he and his gentlemen friends happened to be there as well.”

  Catherine closed the book she had been reading and set it on a nearby table. “And you caught his interest and now you are betrothed. Thank you for your kind words, Elizabeth, but I’m certain the two of you would eventually have met even without my assistance. There is such a thing as fate, and I’m a firm believer in the concept. Why don’t you go and change for dinner? I’ll be up shortly.”

  Elizabeth walked across the room and put her hand on the door knob with a dreamy expression on her face. It was obvious the bulk of her thoughts were centered on her betrothed. “Very well, I think I’ll wear the pale yellow gown tonight.”

  Catherine sighed as Elizabeth left the room. She stared at the glowing coals in the fireplace as she remembered Justin as she had last seen him on Christmas day almost two years ago. He had stood ramrod-straight, his expression grim, still managing to look heart-achingly handsome, glaring down at her in the entryway of Mary and Edward’s home.

  “I must return to Rockton. Many matters there require my urgent attention.” He thrust his hat on his head and pulled his riding gloves over his hands.

  Catherine knew a deep sense of regret as she realized his sudden haste to leave and return to his home was her fault. “I’m sorry you have to leave today. We have only just removed ourselves from the dinner table. You have no wish to eat a piece of mince pie or try the Christmas pudding?”

  “I think you are well aware why I must not tarry here any longer. I wish you well, Miss Simms.” He stared at her for a moment before bowing and turning to the door.

  They were back to formality once again. “The same to you, Lord Rockton.”

  With tear-filled eyes, she had watched from a window as he climbed on his horse and rode away.

  Three months later, she had married Colin Hopkins, Viscount Greer, in accordance with both of their fathers’ wishes. Her residence in London was sold, and she and Miss Wicker settled into their new home on the outskirts of Guildford in Surrey. A few weeks after the ceremony, her new husband had announced his intention to join the cavalry in the effort to halt Napoleon’s advancement across Europe. Not long after he left, she received a formal declaration that he had been killed in the Battle of Waterloo.

  Catherine had been a widow for a year and a half. The time spent as a married woman had been so brief she sometimes found herself wondering if the event had actually taken place. Only the need to be consigned to the Dower House upon the arrival of the new heir and the daily reminder of the necessity to be attired in widow’s weeds in the year following her husband’s death made it a reality.

  Her thoughts turned back to Lord Rockton. He had crossed her mind several times over the past two years. She couldn’t help but wonder what it had been about her that made him ignore his vow to never become romantically involved with a woman of his class. As time passed, she reasoned she had placed too much importance on his kiss. It was simply a spur of the moment embrace caused by a fleeting attraction they both felt for each other. It meant nothing more than that.

  Briefly, she contemplated refusing to accompany Elizabeth to the estate. But she soon realized that was something she would never do. She had been hired as a companion and would perform her duties until she was no longer needed. The notion of spending another lonely Christmas at the Dower House was quite depressing as well. Perhaps fate was playing a role in her life. She rose to her feet, shaking out her skirts. There was just enough time before dinner to dress and give orders to the maids to begin packing for a journey to Newbury.

  ****

  “I’m very glad you and your family could join me for Christmas.” Justin smiled warmly at his companion and then took a sip from his glass containing some of his estate’s finest brandy.

  “We were happy to come. You realize that you have invited a substantial amount of people to your home now that Selina and I are married?” The other gentleman rested his half-empty glass on the arm of his chair.

  “Yes, of course. There is plenty of room for everyone. My cousin John, my Aunt Clara and John’s betrothed Miss Elizabeth Croft will be here as well.” Justin reminded himself to check with his butler to make certain his staff had everything they needed for the upcoming holiday celebration.

  “Your heir John? He is getting married?” His companion sounded justifiably surprised.

  “Yes. Imagine that? He met Miss Croft by chance in Hyde Park. He claims it was love at first sight.” Justin was conscious of a sudden sense of regret as he imagined John’s feelings of joy when he discovered his deep regard for the lady was reciprocated. Lucky man!

  “What about you? I know I gave you a hard time last year when I thought you and Selina had formed a lasting affection for each other. But I wish you would find a special woman, fall in love, and get married.” The gentleman sounded wistful as he spoke the last sentence.

  “There is no chance of that happening.” Justin took another sip from his glass and stared at the glowing coals in the fireplace.

  “No chance at all? Don’t tell me you are continuing to avoid the company of eligible young ladies? I thought your declaration that you intended to wait for several years to get married was because you were preoccupied with your latest mistress or perhaps it was a way of keeping the overly ambitious mamas at bay.” Lord Robert Crestor, Justin’s best friend since childhood, paused for a moment, an expression of confusion on his face. “Perhaps my wife is correct. She believes your late mother is the cause of your hesitation to become attached to anyone.”

  “My mother? What has she to do with my lack of interest in getting married?” Justin put his glass down on the table and glared at Robert.

  Robert stared back at him without flinching. “Everything, I should imagine. Don’t you remember when we were boys, she was rarely at home. Always off to London with her ‘friends’.”

  Justin came to his feet, unable to sit still any longer. He began pacing in front of the fireplace. “I was away at school most of the time. There was no reason for her to bide her time at the estate waiting for me to return home on leave.”

  Robert stood as well. “What about your father? I can remember walking into his study many times with you to find him sitting in his chair staring into the fire with a glass of brandy in his hand. When you would try to speak to him, he either wouldn’t answer or would wave us out of the room.”

  Justin stopped pacing and leaned against the corner of the mantel. “My father had many things to take care of on the estate. They often caused him to worry. He didn’t have the patience for rambunctious boys such as we were.”

  Robert faced him from the other side of the fireplace. “What about when we were older? I realize we never spoke of it, but you can’t tell me that you weren’t aware of the rumors about Lady Rockton?”

  Justin sighed. “Yes, I know
she had a reputation for having many lovers. My old nurse once admitted to me that my mother almost died when I was born. She vowed she would never be forced to have another child.”

  “That doesn’t mean you never again spend time with your spouse.” Robert pursed his lips and frowned. “I have spoken enough about Lady Rockton. You are forever boasting about how you manage to avoid the Parson’s mousetrap. Has there never been a woman who caught your interest?”

  “Uh, no…no never.” Justin had spent many hours thinking about what exactly had transpired between Catherine and him during that Christmas celebration. He had come to the conclusion that he had behaved badly. Her superior intelligence and stimulating conversation had thrown him off balance, so to speak. He had misread her feelings because of the inspiration and pleasure he had experienced in her company. It had never crossed his mind that she could already have been spoken for.

  “Come now, Justin we have been best friends forever. I can sense some hesitation in your answer. There must have been someone.”

  “There was a lady once…I met her two years ago at a house party. You remember when I stayed with the Earl of Norton for the Christmas holidays?”

  “Edward Teague, our schoolmate from Eton?”

  “Yes, the very man. The lady in question was a particular friend of Edward’s wife Mary. She was visiting them as well. When we were first introduced, I noted that she was quite a lovely and vivacious woman. I assumed she would be another simpering miss with her head full of nothing but the usual ability to comment on the state of the weather. I was determined to avoid her.”

  “Poor lady; were there others in the gathering that she could converse with?”

  “There was only Edward, Mary, and their children; one who was an infant at the time. So, yes, with such a small party, it became quickly apparent to me that to refrain from speaking to her entirely would be very rude on my part.”

  Robert grinned at him. “I’m glad you came to your senses.”

  “Thank you. You know I’m not a bad sort over all.”

  “Oh, no, you’re not a bad person. You’re a good, kind, caring gentleman. It is just hard to get past that aloof exterior you show to most people.”

  Justin glared at his friend for a moment. “May I finish my story?”

  “Please do. I’m all ears.”

  “As I was saying, after a few days had passed I decided to attempt to make conversation with her. I was aware of particular sensations overtaking my mind and body. I was forced to admit I had feelings of attraction for her. I determined the best way to rid myself of the silly emotions was to engage her in conversation. I was convinced she would be like all the other unmarried, pretty young women I have encountered. She would shy away at any subject I might bring up that would require clever, observant replies on her part. I would quickly lose interest and any sensation of enchantment I had for her would disappear.”

  “Enchantment? You were captivated by this woman!”

  “I will admit, she set me back on my heels.” Justin put a palm against his forehead and stared at the opposite wall for a moment before resuming his story. “To my surprise, I found her to be a very thoughtful, intelligent woman. We had several enjoyable, thought-provoking discussions together. After much deliberation, I decided to declare my interest. A situation arose immediately afterward that required quick action on my part to insure Miss Simms’s well-being.”

  “I hope you were able to avert disaster from happening?”

  “Yes I was. However in doing so, I found my arms wrapped around her and my face pressed close to her full, red lips. I remember they were trembling. I couldn’t stop myself. I kissed her. Much to my astonishment, she rebuffed my advances and informed me that she was promised to marry another.”

  Robert moved over to Justin’s side and laid a hand on his shoulder. “That is unfortunate, Justin. I’m very sorry if you were hurt by the experience. Don’t allow that circumstance hold you back from meeting another special woman. Look at my Selina. You know how wonderful she is. It’s entirely possible there is a lady somewhere who could bring you great joy and love.”

  “Selina, Lady Crestor is very special. You are fortunate to have her as your wife.” He paused, frowning down at the carpet. “I never thought about it before, but perhaps you are right. I’ve guarded my heart, except in that one instance, because I’ve worried my future wife will be unfaithful and cause me great sadness as my mother did to my father.”

  A knock sounded upon the door.

  “Enter.”

  Justin’s butler Huxton pushed the door open and bowed with a flourish. “You have more visitors, my lord; Lady Greer, Miss Elizabeth Croft, Mrs. Wexley and Mr. John Wexley.”

  The three ladies entered the room first, with his cousin bringing up the rear. “Aunt Clara and John, welcome. This is my good friend, Robert, Lord Crestor. Introduce me to your betrothed, young man.”

  John reached for the hand of the pretty, diminutive blond lady standing next to him. “This is Miss Elizabeth Croft, daughter of Mr. Eliza Croft, a very successful jeweler in London.”

  She curtsied to him and then rose up to face him, blushing rosily. “It is an honor to meet you at last, Lord Rockton. John has told me much about you.”

  “I trust he has mentioned nothing but good things, Miss Croft.” He smiled down at her and then turned toward the other woman, who he hadn’t yet acknowledged. “Lady Greer, I believe? Are you a relation?”

  The lady’s head was bowed, her features hidden underneath her bonnet. She faced him now. “No, Lord Rockton, I am Miss Croft’s companion.”

  “What the devil?” He gasped in shock. “Catherine? Miss Simms? Lady…?”

  “Greer. Yes, my lord you have all the names and titles in correct succession.” She took a deep breath and pursed her lips before continuing. “There is one other item of note. I was widowed a year and a half ago. The new heir to my late husband’s title has not yet married, so I am also the Dowager Viscountess.”

  “I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” He stared at her features and noted worry lines around her eyes. She also seemed to have lost the sparkle and infectious enthusiasm that he had so admired when he had first met her. “I apologize for my language as well. You surprised me.”

  “Lady Greer. It is an honor to meet you.” Robert stepped around him. “Your late husband served in my regiment. He spoke about you.”

  “Lord Crestor? You knew Colin? You must tell me all you remember of him.”

  Justin looked across the room, noting his aunt was deep in discussion with her son and Miss Croft. “I would know more of your story as well, Lady Greer. Shall I have my housekeeper show each of you to your rooms? You can settle in and then join us in the drawing room for tea in an hour.”

  “Yes, thank you. That would be best.”

  Justin walked across the room and yanked on the bell pull.

  Huxton entered the room moments later. “Yes, my lord?”

  “Have Mrs. Pulley show the ladies to their rooms, Huxton. Also, inform Cook we would like afternoon tea in an hour in the drawing room.”

  “Yes, my lord. Please follow me, my lady, Mrs. Wexler, and Miss Croft.”

  “I will go up and change as well,” announced John as he followed the women out into the entry

  As soon as the door closed behind him Robert spoke. “Is Lady Greer the woman you referred to earlier?”

  Justin could not keep the surprise he felt from showing on his face. “However did you guess?”

  Robert grinned at him. “Your reaction when you saw her clearly was priceless. I’ve never seen you respond to any other woman in such a way. I wouldn’t have been surprised if you’d fallen prostrate to the floor.”

  “Nonsense, my feelings couldn’t have been that transparent.” As soon as he spoke, Justin realized he had done a poor job of hiding his emotional attachment to Catherine.

  “Perhaps not, John is clearly smitten with Miss Croft and your aunt was busy admiring the two of the
m cooing together like love birds on the other side of the room. Lady Greer was probably expecting you to be startled by her appearance.”

  Justin sighed. “She has changed; much more somber and subdued, didn’t laugh at all. She always made a tinkling, cheery sound when she laughed.”

  “Her life has altered substantially. She can’t have been married long before she was widowed.”

  “Now she spends her days as a paid companion to motherless ladies? I am anxious to hear what she has to say about this turn of events. By the way, did the late Lord Greer often speak of her?”

  Robert shrugged his shoulders. “I hope I didn’t give the impression he was forever prosing on about his wife. I can think of two instances that he made reference to her in my presence.”

  Justin frowned as he thought of what Catherine’s reaction might have been to her husband’s seemingly hasty departure. “Did he feel guilty about leaving her so soon after they were married?”

  “No, I would describe his state of mind as relieved. He told me he had done his duty and married the woman he had been promised to in a long-standing agreement between their fathers. He also mentioned her the morning before his last battle. He said he was glad that she would always be taken care of if he should be killed.”

  A knock sounded, and Huxton entered the room. “My lord, Lady Crestor has arrived with Lord and Lady Burford. Another carriage follows with Lord and Lady Dunstable.”

  Robert moved to the open door. “It appears the rest of my family is here. I will see to their needs and meet you in the drawing room. I have a sense this Christmas is going to be an interesting one.”

  Justin was thwarted in his quest to seek an audience with Catherine when tea was served an hour later. The new arrivals were introduced once everyone had gathered in the room. She and Miss Croft were quickly monopolized by Selina, Lady Crestor as well as Selina’s mother, Lady Burford. Aunt Clara and Robert’s mother Lady Dunstable became engrossed in a discussion involving the benefits of rose water as a skin softener. The gentlemen were having an animated conversation on the use of dogs when hunting rabbits and gorse. They called him over to their group, eager for his opinion before he was able to have a word with Catherine.